[symple_box] Sabeet Raza is a young Pakistani who aims to bring an end to the way his compatriots pessimistically view the Pakistani society. He is the founder of the Religion Humanity Initiative, an NGO working to bring an end to religious intolerance. [/symple_box]
Karachi, Pakistan-Just a couple of days ago, a 16-year-old boy shot his classmate, the “love” of his life during the assembly session at a Private School in Karachi. The girl soon succumbed to the bullet that ripped through her body as the boy soon pulled the trigger, directing it upon himself. Two chilling letter were later found, reportedly in identical writing, in which, the two students openly blamed their parents for not accepting their urge to get married for their suicide pact.
The two students wanted to untie in Paradise and expected God to help them in their noble conquest of being united. Though as innocent and un-scarred these thoughts are, our society would rather take it as an insult for having raised such children.
Whilst parents leave no aspect of political or religious debate unturned in their dinner at 9 arguments and debates, they rather comfortably forget the need of discussing the alluring concept of “love” or perhaps, “Girl Friend-Boy Friend Relationships” with their children.
For some un-contemplate-able reason, parents today find it very awkward and difficult to discuss issues such as puberty, love, romance and the basic value of a non-blood based relationship with their children, and yet, they comfortably expect them to fulfill all their desires with regards to all these issues. Without having preached any specific lessons, many parents today expect their children to behave when it comes to such un-discussible, awkward and yet, illicit relationships.
Before you leave this page, assuming that this article is from some liberal kid, who has forgotten all values prevalent in Islam or Pakistan, and took on a path of his own which will eventually lead him “astray”, I’d regrettably ask you to wait and hear me out. Although my words will barely have the slightest affect on you unflinching moral code, I think it’s high time that we brought this issue to public floor.
In a subcontinent, where we literally celebrate the love story of Layla and Majnoo (Or arguably better related to as Romeo and Juliet), where we have romantically tragic poetry by Mir Taqi Mir and specifically Mirza Asadullah Ghalib depicted as though it is directed to a person (Whereas it directed to God except rare occasions), where we openly watch love stories and at times even idealize them at our homes; how and why do we expect our future generations not to be attracted to the concept of falling in love. Though it is more a responsibility, we depict non-blood based relationships (Or marital ones) as an unimaginable concept, which will, in a matter of seconds, change your life and make it a blossoming meadow with pastures of green and whatnot. With these false ideas blossoming in the hearts and minds of high school teens and under-graduate students, why is it that the so called “wise” and “well anticipating” seniors of our society fail to see what lies ahead?
Is it really that hard to accept the feelings of two people for each other? Is it really a crime to fall in love? Is it morally outright wrong to talk to a girl in our society? Does hanging out with a girl make it necessary for her to be your girlfriend and for you to either marry her or kill her? Am I the “Bigri hoi aulaad” of the worst parents on Earth if I easily and openly communicate with girls? I’d rather not answer these questions, but the stories that are celebrated in our society and dominate it to a massive extent, hint of something seriously wrong and hypocritical in our expectations and actions.
If you can’t tolerate your son being around a girl, spare apart developing romantic feelings for her, or vice versa, make it an outright vice in your house to speak to a woman, and set an example or please, drop the hypocrisy and look at a practical version of life. Live your life as a sexist, never take a look beyond the face of your wife or maybe, learn that being a hypocritical sexist is not the way to advance in life.
Why have we made every concept that we do not understand, Taboo? The pressures from society and these incredulous expectations and unachievable satisfaction that our society wants us to come up to, has undoubtedly hampered the progressive stage of our society. We neither change, nor let change. We don’t sit at peace, we don’t want to let sit at peace.
I for one learnt not one but many lessons from the actions of these 2 youngsters.
Firstly, marriage is considered as something whereby two people who love each other can live together by our younger generation (s). They are unwary of the responsibilities of marriage and hence need to better understand and comprehend the reality of marriage. It’s not only a bond for the happy loving times, but a responsibility to stay there in sickness too.
Secondly, our society tries to stay inflexible and attempts to sabotage anyone who might try otherwise. We need to take it a notch back for this generation. With the mega amount of exposure going through their heads and eyes, it’s really not all that easy for them to control their emotions either.
Thirdly, it is as easy as stealing from a blind man, to get a Pistol with a 9MM bore in Karachi. The Government, despite its calims, has failed to do away with such stationary items. It is high time they realized the urgency of this issue and made sure that guns and fire arms become as rare as ancient artifacts in Pakistan.
Adding up to that, marriage is shown as the only feasible and possible relationship between people of the two opposite genders. The concept of being friends with a girl is absolutely inhuman to the eyes of the majority.
Having addressed the seniors of my society, I think it’s time we shift to the false concepts that our younger generation bears. Quoting a relatively senior friend of mine,
“Today we see 11 and 12 year old flooding Ask.fm with the stories about their Ex-es and plaguing Facebook with verses from the poetry of Ghalib. Little do they know that God is the one these poets were referring to, not their pre-teen girlfriends”
Being the social media hype trend following generation, I hope my message reaches out to the newsfeed of these kids that I refer to. Adding up to that, loving a person is not as easy as it looks, you need to take responsibility for any such person. Love is a relatively different concept, but the idea of getting married at 16 is seriously something worrying. With no money, no assets of your own, not even a house for the two to live together, I find it very immature of students to even think of getting married before settling down with a job, house and insurance. When you get impressed or worse inspired by The Notebook or One Tree Hill, do keep in mind, there’s a stern difference between reality and a season or romantic movie. I know that many of us want to live the life of Noah and Allie, but frankly with the amount of career centeredness in both genders, I really think it’s not all that possible now. Grow out of dreams but don’t stop following them, become mature, have crushes, fall in love even, but don’t do something as stupid as this. Even till 18 or 20, a person might still not be mature enough to take as big a decision as marrying someone. That said; don’t go to extents like those this specific couple went. Whatever religion you follow, heaven is probably the last thing you’ll get after suicide. If you ever get into such a situation, take a deep breath, try to analyze everything around you and find a better alternate to any such situation.
At the end, I hope that from what has happened, and whatever happens in the future, our society, as well as our generation takes some note from it. We need to get rid of hypocrisy, understand the dynamics of practical life and either live like a snail confining ourselves to the wall of our shell, or explore the world and its wildness.
If I offend you, I beg your pardon, if I even made the slightest change in your “unflinching moral code” for a greater good, I’m humbled and if you still chose to stay inflexible, just know there’s a reason glass breaks and rubber doesn’t.